Paintball at Bumper Cars

I had a friend
He was a fiend

His thoughts were fearless
His acts were brainless
His aim was flawless
Nuts surely crackless

Beans barely cooked
Misunderstood
Whose coulds were woulds
A shaggy dude

Behaving handsomely
Shooting flawlessly

And crackin' nuts
Left people nuts
He scratched and cut
Chewed, bit and cut

Cuts, bites and chews
Cracks, wraps and thrills
Was no bummer to choose
Lose, use or let loose

No mouth to up shut
No switch to down shut

No materialism
Unexpressionism
Ah, surrealism
But they came with a prism

And they taught him a lesson
They demanded a ransom
Disguised while pasm
Zug-zwang after mess

Told him tales 'bout some son
A underage overrun

His own tales now forlorn
Right before they were born
Ah, fiend overfed and torn
Spells medically worn

And nothing really occurred
With dreams and infancy blurred

So the dark holes are there
So the wormholes are here
Unlike those charms that they bear
Unlike those rumors I hear

I have a friend
No one can see
He is my angel
Appears only to me